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| Date | Monkey News |
|---|---|
| 04/09/03 | I'm back in London now for anyone who gives a shit. For further developments check out the magazine website because Mr Monkey is once again on hold due both to the lack of a scanner and also various other pressing commitments. |
| 12/04/03 | Ok, I know it's been a while, so shut the fuck up you whining fuckers! Anyway, here is brand new Mr Monkey for you, so please enjoy it. This monumentous occurence is a result of about 6 people asking me to update in the space of one week, so, if you want anyone to thank or blame then here are the culprits: McBen, SteveJ, Louise, Karina, Rebecca, Kate. There! More updates soon! I'm back on a roll!!! |
| 20/11/02 | Stop whining, there is more of the good stuff on the way. It would be here already if it were not for the fact that my flatmate's scanner is unable to rotate images, and I drew everything too large to fit normally. |
| 23/06/02 | I appreciate that there has been little monkey activity recently, but this is due, sadly, to the fact that I am now employed. There is, however, an abundance of music has been added to this site, so fuck off and be patient. |
| 07/06/02 | Yesterday I saw a seagull eating a pigeon. I'm not telling a mistruth. I suppose that being a vegan I should find such things distasteful, but then again I'm also a humanitarian who laughs at dwarves. I am being made to feel obliged to mention the fact that it was my good friend Rebecca's birthday last weekend, and we all had a smashing time down at the local discotheque with all our adorable comrades. Special thanks goes out to Marie for instigating the first trans-Atlantic flight of our favourite Darwinistic cousin. I feel perculiarly benign towards the public today - no reason, I'm merely looking forward to England being humiliated in the World Cup tomorrow. Oh, how hindsight will add such joy to this paragraph... |
| 28/05/02 | Nothing much has happened. I'm only really writing this because I feel obliged to every time I upload more wretched pictures onto this site. Also, to let you know that we have initiaited a little bit of Monkey graffiti and wondered if other people would like to join in. Merely draw a picture of our heroic simian pal in a prominent (yet obviously law abiding) place, and then stand back and take a look at your work. Oh fuck this, I'm going for a fag... |
| 17/05/02 | OK, more shit coming tonight, including a guest strip from one of my flatmates - gasp! Also, today sees the launch of Mr Monkey nationally. With the kind help of Stevie J, we will be canvassing the whole of Bristol and London with flyers and stickers. Also, now available, Mr Monkey tshirts and shot glasses. Email me for prices and details. |
| 15/05/02 | I have been too busy / drunk / lazy to do any more Mr Monkey for a while now, but since nobody reads this shit, or cares, for that matter, why should I worry? The new Star Wars movie comes out tomorrow. Wow... |
| 05/05/02 | Yay!! More Mr Monkey for all you boys and girls!! Actually, I think this lot are even lamer than last time - but here's the good news: the next load are complete shite!!!! That's right, make the most of your monkey-time now when he's only moderately crap! I may have to enter employment soon, but if you want you can help me avoid this fate. I am willing to sell original Mr Monkey strips - HAND DRAWN - for only £1000 each!!!!!! What a bargain!!!! Come on, you are stupid fools...SUCCUMB: send me money. Please send me emails with your credit card details on. I have spent most of this week scaring girls with clown masks. |
| 27/04/02 | Nothing has happened, but this table looked shite with only one entry. I'm bored and sober, but later I will not be. I'm seeing the Wildhearts tomorrow. |
| 26/04/02 | Yeah, well, I've been on the computer for about a week, my flatmates have been giving me shit, but I've finally finished this load of crap. Anyway, this is a place where I can write about interesting stuff that happens to me, for instance any human abnormalities I may see in Sainsburys. Last week I saw a mongoloid dwarf by the rhubarb. Great!!! Anyway, I'm fucking off now to actually go out for the night (the first time since I started this gay venture). Piss off... |