Ok, now this is the part where I list all the aesthetic
bodies which appeal to my own subjective tastes, and then encourage you
to align yourselves with my opinions by providing tempting links where
you can find out more. Go on...give up your individuality! Come and join my
world!
Johnny the Homocidal Maniac - an almost Cartesian account
of life, seen through the eyes of a murderous psychopath. Written by Jhonnen
Vasquez, the man behind 'Squee' and 'I Feel Sick'.
Milk and Cheese - more violence, this time at the hands of
alcoholic dairy products. I am especially touched by the numerous references
to my own drink of choice : GIN! Written by Evan Dorkin
Sock Monkey - I still can't decide whether I prefer Sock Monkey or Maakies...who cares, they both have monkeys in them!
Lenore - Roman Dirge's stories about a little dead girl who
inadvertently kills kittens and other such cute little things. Sadly there are no monkeys
in this one.
Transformers - the Transformer comics were always so much better
than the fucking gay cartoons, apart from the really crap one were Optimus
destroys himself after that fucking computer game. Anyway, ensure that you
attempt to read all 322 parts of this wonderful saga.
FILMS
The Beyond - Lucio Fulci's epic horror about the Gateway to
Hell being opened by Lovecraftian incantations. Better eyeball scene than
Zombie Flesh Eaters.
Wuthering Heights - obviously the Olivier version! Even though
it only accounts for the first half of the book, this is still a moving transposition
of the story
The Exorcist - a bit of a shame that they saw fit to edit out
the 'spider-walk' from the final cut, but still one of the best horror movies of all time
Spinal Tap - I'm starting to get bored again. Is it really necessary
to write so much shit for each heading? Can't you just find all this out for yourself?
Repulsion - Maybe I should have made the scans smaller,
and then there wouldn't be this need to fill so much space. I'm such a spastic
The Idiots - Do you really need to explain why I would love
a movie dedicated to the art of wheelchairs and mental decay? Fantastic!
Still Crazy - right, that's it for now. I may update this if I can ever
be bothered, but now I'm off to get drunk
DRINK
Bombay Sapphire - the Overlord of all beverages, this master
of gins costs about £20 a bottle, but when you've forked out for it you know why.
Obviously that is not to discriminate against Gordons, Beefeater, or even
Sainsbury's Economy Gin, but for special occasions this is the finest.
Jack Daniels - another costly drink, but again, another good
one. The main advantage with JD is that when drinking a bottle of this liquid
you will look big and you will look fucking clever! Again, other bourbons are good
this is just better
Special Brew - look, the argument for this is quite simple :
it has an alcohol content of 9% and costs a little over £1 a can. Do you really
need this fucking spelt out for you
Frosty Jack - lower down the class system even than Special
Brew, this has kept me happily drunk when I was down to my last few pennies.
7.5%; 3 litres; £2.50. With statistics like that it even makes the cider drinkable
Cheap Red Wine - fuck paying over £3.00 for a bottle, it all tastes
the same if you've had a few gins first anyway. A subtle and refined drink
for this season's more sophisticated hobo.
Sainsbury's Economy Scotch - now this is the perculiar thing.
I've drank various Scotches, including all the premium priced ones, and
I still prefer this one! Plus it costs a mere £7.49 a bottle
